Author: amo

Paying Attention

Your attention is one of the most valuable things you possess, which is why everyone wants to steal it from you. First you must protect it, and then you must point it in the right direction.
As they say in the movies, ‘Careful where you point that thing!’
What you choose to pay attention to is the stuff your life and work will be made of.

Austin Kleon, Keep Going

I ran across that quote from Austin Kleon the other day, and it really struck me. The man knows what he’s talking about. (He really does. Go buy his books.)

In our world today, it’s become more and more important to point our attention in the right direction. If we don’t intentionally point it at what we want to pay attention to, it’ll be pointed for us, by an attention economy that is extremely expert at making us look where it wants us to look.

And what we pay attention to will fill our whole vision. If all, or most, of what we pay attention to is what’s bad in the world or in our life, pretty soon that becomes our life. It’ll be all we see. The world is a bad place to be, “they” are out to get people like “us”, everything is awful, and we spend our time wallowing in misery.

It’s not that there’s not plenty of bad stuff out there—there is. Or that there aren’t undesirable things happening in our lives—there are.

But listen to the language: paying attention. Spending time.

Because that’s exactly what it is. I have a finite amount of attention and time available. If I use up that attention and time on negativity, on things I dislike and disagree with, on matters that are bad and I can’t do anything about, that time and attention is gone. Poof. Kaputt. I no longer have it available to spend on the things that really matter.

What do I really want to spend the precious coin of my time on? What do I want to pay attention to?

“Do you want to be happy? Be grateful!” says Brother David Steindl-Rast of grateful.org. He’s not talking about “looking on the bright side”, or “trying to find the silver lining in the cloud”, let alone “shutting our eyes to what is painful and ugly and evil”. No, this is about attention: the attention to the surprise and wonder that surround us, every day, no matter where we are.

And I, for one, want to cultivate that kind of grateful attention. I don’t want to be miserable, thank you very much. Over and over I make the choice (at some times more successfully than at others) to spend my attention on the things that really matter, that matter to me. And once I’ve paid that attention, I find I have none left to spend on those other things, the ones that “they” want me to pay out my attention for and that make me upset and angry and depressed. Those things are still there, but I don’t have time for them; I already spent it all.

And that’s just fine with me.

“What you choose to pay attention to is the stuff your life and work will be made of.”

Life, the Universe, and Paying Attention. I want to choose my spending wisely.

Palentine’s Day

I have to let off a quick rant. It’s Valentine’s Day today. You know, Day of Lurrrrv and Romance and Red Hearts and Pink Flowers. And invariably, there’s going to be a few Bah Humbugs (okay, wrong season – maybe curmudgeons, then?) who call for a boycott of the holiday, and complain about how all this talk of love and romance only makes those of us who don’t have anyone who brings them roses and chocolates feel worse about that fact. So therefore, they say, we should not celebrate it at all. Ban this foolishness! Down with red-foil-wrapped chocolates and cinnamon hearts!

“Bah!” I say to them, “Humbug!” (that does have a nice ring to it, seasonal or not). Yes, all right, I agree that the commercialism of Valentine’s Day is flat-out ridiculous, and that spending money and making empty gestures is not what love is about. (In fact, a few years ago I wrote a blog post about it.) And of course I feel for those for whom the day, like many other holidays, brings up painful memories of lost loved ones, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. The pain of grief is a whole other topic.

The thing is this: just because you don’t have that one romantic partner in your life who neatly conforms to all of society’s extremely limited ideas of what love consists of it doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate a Day of Love, and/or let others celebrate it. Just because I’m not a grandmother doesn’t mean I can’t participate in my friend’s joy at her grandson’s birthday. Being European doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate Chinese New Year’s or enjoy watching the Asian community celebrating it. Not having a romantic-gestures-delivering partner doesn’t mean I can’t embrace Valentine’s Day.

Our world is bleak enough as it is—let’s celebrate all we can. And let’s especially celebrate love in all its manifestations. I just learned the terms “Galentine’s” and “Palentine’s”, celebrating your gal friends and pals—what a great concept. Friends, family, parents, children, uncles, aunts, cousins, second-cousins-by-marriage-once-removed, and yes, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers—let’s enjoy each other and the relationships we have. Let’s revel in the joy of love and romance and mushy sentiment, because, let’s face it, it makes us feel good, and it literally makes life happen. How great is that?

So bring on the flowers and chocolates (though perhaps not the promises you don’t intend to keep, but the gift of a giant library full of books would always be welcome). Let’s put a counterpoint of Love and Celebration out into the darkness.

Life, the Universe, and the Day of Love. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Pals

News from the Writing Trenches, January** 2023 Edition

Steve says it’s time I gave y’all an update. (Side note: I like that word, “y’all”. It’s quite fascinating how the dialect of the Southern United States has created a new second person plural, which takes the place of what the word “you” used to mean. Back in the day of The Bard and the King James Bible, “thou” meant “you, the single person”, and “you” meant “you, the several people”. Nowadays, regular English only has “you”, as in, “you one” and “you many”. But Southern US English has re-invented a plural, so there you can say “you one” and “y’all many”. I wonder if it’ll ever make it into formal, written language? End of digression.)

So, yes, update. No, I’m not getting sidetracked, why would I? It’s not like I go on guilt trips about how much I have, or haven’t, written in the last while. In fact, I was going to (but didn’t) write a blog post on that: “The Year I Failed NaNoWriMo”.

Because, that did happen last November. I failed NaNo—dismally so. I only got a few thousand words done. But then, I’d set myself up for it. I wanted to see if I could write a novel and do regular work, as well. So I booked several editing jobs during November, as well as having some volunteer work to do (and never mind starting Christmas preparations), plus a trip to the coast for some family stuff in the middle of it. On top of it I was a NaNo ML (Municipal Liaison, i.e. regional leader or cheering squad), which brings a bunch more work with it. I know, I know, laugh all you want.

In fact, setting myself up for failure was a useful experiment. I once knew someone who set himself up to fail a university course: he signed up to the class with the full intention of failing, just to teach himself the lesson that it’s okay to fail. I wouldn’t quite go that far myself; for one, university courses are blinkin’ expensive—there are a lot of cheaper ways of failing. But I started NaNoWriMo 2022 with the idea that I probably wouldn’t finish my 50,000 words. I’d done it ten times in a row before, pushed myself to the finish line, got it done. So I knew what it takes for me to do it. I’ve seen others win NaNoWriMo “on the side”, though, while holding down full-time jobs or looking after young children, and I wondered if there was any chance of me doing so. Answer: No. I didn’t even get a part of a novel written. Which was no surprise, but still stressful.

I did learn a couple of useful things. I’m not a very fast writer, I’ve known that all along. Word sprints and word wars are useless for me. It’s not that I can’t type fast, but I can’t think fast, can’t craft sentences very quickly, so my word count per minute has never been high. Some of my friends can crank out 2000 words an hour without breaking a sweat, and I’ve always wondered how they do it and why I can’t. This time, during one of our online write-ins, I decided to just write stream-of-consciousness drivel, nothing whatever to do with any story I was writing, just to see how fast I could put words on screen. And what do you know, if all I’m doing is typing without trying to make sense, let alone paint a word picture, I can rack up the word count with the best of them! However, it’s a word count that nobody would ever want to read. There were words, even mostly-spelled-correctly words making somewhat-puncuated sentences, but they were utter dross, not a story. And I didn’t enjoy the process. So, it’s not that I’m a failure at writing, it’s that I have a different writing style from the one that cranks ‘em out fast*. I’m a Slow Writer. Which, given the fact that I’m into Slow Culture as a whole (Slow Food, Slow Textiles, etc.), is kind of a good thing. And like other aspects of Slow Anything, it means you (or rather I) have to take time for it, have to set time aside, or it won’t happen.

So! Now you know that I did not write a new novel last November. However. I do have a whole bunch of novels sitting around on my computer in varying states of completion. A few are finished, critiqued, edited, polished. Some are finished, i.e. completed novels, but need rewriting; one needs a whole different ending. And one is only half done, and I need to write the second half and get ‘er done. Also, there are some short stories kicking around that I’ve been submitting to contests, and/or might turn into a story collection, or expand into a novella or even full novel.

All that to say, Writing? Why yes, Steve, I have been writing, thank you very much. You can stop giving me censorious looks. And something might even come out of it, very soon.

That’s Life, the Universe, and News from the Writing Trenches in January** of 2023. I’ll let y’all know when there’s more to tell.

*Footnote: I’m not saying that people who write novels fast write dross; far from it. Just that their brains work differently from mine. I can only write really fast if I write drivel; if I want to write anything worth reading I have to take my time. And that’s okay.

**Edit after posting: I just noticed that it is, in fact, now February, not January. Which tells you where my brain is at. Ah well…

#FridayFragment: 20.01.2023

MAGIC POTION

The first sip tasted revolting. Bitter, burnt. I made a face.

“That’s normal,” he said. “Just keep drinking, it’ll get better.”

I doubted it. The second, third, fourth, and fifth sips were no better. I put the mug back on its coaster.

“Thanks,” I said. “I don’t care how much magic is in this, I don’t think it’s for me.”

He stared at me, his blue eyes wide with astonishment.

“You can’t be serious,” he said. “Everyone likes coffee.”